New Years and undecorating comments.

I don't mind decorating for the holidays, in fact I absolutely love it and start Thanksgiving weekend. The house looks great inside with my village in the front window (I leave the drapes open the entire month) and mini lit up trees, along with my Christmas mooses (I have about 10 of them including 4 which hang on the walls and play music when you squeeze them). My neighbors love the village and usually stop as they walk by to inspect and make wonderful comments. The outside is lit up with lights on the bushes and Christmas Moose wreaths all about. Even my SUV has a wreath on the front of it for the holidays.

Unfortunately in only a month, everything has to come down and that's what I absolutely hate to do. Boxing everything up for the shed is so depressing to me. I have decided to leave the village up for the winter at least. It's not exactly a Christmas village, merely a Victorian one. Some of the houses have decorations on them but from the outside, one can't tell. Everything else including the skating park, carousel, train station and City hall plus all the accessories are your run of the mill late 1800's little town so it won't look strange from the outside.

This New Years I have decided not to go to our Moose family Center. I am one of the few who doesn't drink and I always feel obgligated to be a designated driver. This means that at 2:30 AM, I am still driving around town. I am too old to be driving at that hour of the morning. I will be going to Lynn's and she lives close to the office (I have work tomorrow). I will let one of them explain their New Year's tradition. Suffice to say it will be nice for me to visit with my Aunt and I always enjoy spending time with the girls,their hubby's and kids.

So another year draws to a close. There have been some wonderful times (losing weight has been super) and some tough times this past month (losing my brother has been the pits) but we will move forward, and hope that next year will bring more weight loss (don't say it Joan and Carla, I know exercising will help), the chance to visit with my Iowa friends at our Moose Convention in Las Vegas in June and hopefully making some more great memories to last a lifetime.

I wish all of you a very wonderful New Year and hope that everything you wish for comes true.

Boy these are heavier than you think

Each year I spend Christmas Eve with some very close friends (he is a buyer also, she is a nurse). Usually their son and daughter-in-law are also there but this year the kids were invited to visit family in Florida so it was just the three of us. We had a super time and of course great food.

This year was also a cause for celebration because their son won his 2nd Emmy in two years as one of the editors of a daytime T.V. show (can't remember which one). Last year he offered to let me have a picture holding the Emmy but we forgot to do it before I left, so this year we made sure to take the picture before dinner.

In 1969, the company I was working for, one an Academy Award for creative lighting of a movie set (The Molly MacGuires was about a mine strike and required special lighting for the mine scenes) but no pictures were taken of the employees holding it (maybe they didn't want it fingerprinted to death).

So here I am holding not one but two beautiful Emmys. They weigh about 10 lbs each. Seeing them on TV or in pictures doesn't do them justice. You cannot imagine how absolutely gorgeous they are, and I can understand why these and the Academy Awards are not only coveted to prove the quality of one's work but also for display.

I sure wish at least one was mine to take home but alas I have no creative talent whatsoever so I will just have to be happy for the chance just to hold them and be grateful for the picture to prove it.

My wonderful co-workers

Sometimes I teach purchasing classes, and one of the things I have always taught is respect for our co-workers for whom we do our buying. Since we spend most of our waking hours with these people, actually more than with our families, it seems important to me to always try to get along with them.

Some of you know that I have a very difficult co-buyer who has hardly spoken to me the 4 and a half years I have worked at the company. I believe she intended someone else for the position but the Vice President at the time of my hiring was someone I had worked for before and he made the decision to bring me into the company. The legacy of this is that she has never warmed up to me and sarcasm towards me has been evident since day one. I don't work for her so most of the time I just ignore her and try to stay out of her way.

About a year ago, our boss changed the products we buy, giving her mine and giving me what she had been purchasing, and apparently didn't want to do any more. I was more chagrined than unhappy because to me buying is buying. What it did though was allow me more interface with the other employees of the company since instead of purchasing for production, I am purchasing what our other employees need to do their jobs, ie, computers, stationery, marketing stuff plus the materials for our other offices in Europe and India. I also place the orders for our sales and marketing departments when they do conventions and shows. These are orders for the hotels, booths, food, lighting, signs etc. I try to place the orders quickly because I do know that time is a big factor. If there is an error in the requisitions, instead of returning them to the sender, I call the person and immediately fix the errors so that the orders can be placed. Apparently this is something my co-buyer refused to do. She would just return the requisition out of the system with notes indicating what was wrong. This would delay the orders being placed. I have never done this to gain anything but more to make it easier for my co-workers to do their jobs in an expedient manner.

Doing, this, I have gained more than I have expected. Once I lost the weight, the marketing department conveniently sent over more than a few company shirts for me to wear. They have also provided me with the promotional items they purchase which I share with the other buyers including my nemesis (doesn't improve her behavour towards me but I can't share with the other buyers without giving to her too) and the people who work in our customer service department next door. When my computer failed, it was only a half hour before I had a brand new computer with all the bells and whistles. Even my boss commented on the speed of the service I was given. When something breaks in our building, everyone comes to me. They know that if I ask, something, including a new coffee pot this week, will appear quickly.

When I was in Iowa in June, I took my Ipod with me and somewhere (I am assuming running through airports) I lost it. When we had our company Christmas party last week, I mentioned to the other people at the table (I sat with sales and customer service, not purchasing) that I was really hoping I would win a new Ipod because there were three amongst the 20 gifts they were drawing employee names for. I didn't win one of the prizes (3 people at our table did win prizes - no Ipods) and the rest of us at the table celebrated their wins with them.

Yesterday purchasing passed out the gifts we were given by suppliers to the people on the line (we do that every year instead of taking the stuff home). When I returned to my desk, there was a Christmas wrapped gift on my desk with a card indicating the gift was from our sales and customer service department. When I opened the package, there was a brand new state of the art Ipod. I was overwhelmed. The card was signed by all the people in the departments. I was so touched, I cried. The past three weeks have really drained me and I must admit my holiday spirit since I returned from Georgia is the lowest it's been in years. I immediately went next door to personally thank everyone for being so kind and generous. Everyone commented that what I do for them both service wise and making sure I share what I have with them gave them no choice but to show how much they appreciated everything I do for them.

This must be the true spirit which I try to carry all year. It proves to me that doing unto others all year not December is what it's all about I am very grateful for the co-workers who do appreciate the service I provide and have proven to me what the word "SHARING" is all about.

I wish all of you a very happy holiday and most important a VERY HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR. I hope everything you wish for comes true and I thank you all for being my blog friends.

Temptation, thy name is Christmas Goodies

As most of you know, I am a buyer, and for the past week, our department has been given every kind of sugar something in the world by our suppliers. I promised myself that I wouldn't give in to temptation of any sort, during this holiday season, which could cause a weight gain since I still have 40 lbs to lose after my stomach bypass surgery, and can't seem to get myself motivated to exercise. Logic indicates if I am not moving around fast enough to lose more weight, I must keep focused on eating very small amounts of healthy food, a very difficult thing to do with all the goodies being passed around.

What I have done this week is share with the other employees in our building who aren't fortunate enough to have suppliers bring them great tasting sweets. Everyone thinks I am the most generous co-worker, and I almost feel a twinge of guilt when they heaping thanks on me. Little do they know, it's the sharing which is keeping me focused on my goal not to gain during these times. If they happen to love the glut of cookies, brownies, chocolates and whatever else I can unload, then so be it.

I am still very thankful I had the surgery in February 2006. If I can behave through New Years, I might even make a promise to start exercising or just walking around the building and, hopefully, lose the 40 lbs by next Christmas. Heck, by then, I might even be able to indulge in a brownie or two.

Not enough time for everything

Here we are at not only the end of a quarter but also the end of the year. We are swamped here at the office, plus I was out the week I spend in Georgia so I have been playing catch up for the past week and a half. I wrote before that the end of the quarter is always busy since we are trying to ship as much out as we can. The end of the year increases the stress level by 25% because we really want to get everything out as we close the year.

On top of this, there has been distressing news regarding my brother's estate. 2nd son (you know the one who did nothing regarding the apartment and who made absolutely no arrangements at the mortuary leaving me with all the responsibilities and payments, then left the day before his father's memorial service) has applied to be the administrator of Frank's estate. The legal notice appeared in the town Newspaper. Fortunately my wise cousin Joan has been searching the web using Frank's name to see what's out there and has found some things on line issued from 2nd son which are extremely disturbing to me, the request to be named administrator of the estate being the highest item. While he has asked the courts to name him administrator, he has done absolutely nothing about Frank's apartment or car, leaving the responsibilities up to Frank's boss and his wife to clean out the apartment and store the car on their property.

It's obvious that 2nd son is only hoping to expedite the probate of the estate so that he can get his hands on the money faster. Since I have no doubt that 2nd son has no intention of repaying me, I have contacted an attorney in that area and asked him to file a claim against the estate on my behalf.

All this saddens me. This is not what I expected of my brother's legacy. It's shabby and goes against everything I believe in. This is how my nephew has dragged me into his low life world and it makes me very angry, but to allow him to keep my money when he has done absolutely nothing, makes me even angrier. How it will end, I have no idea. I just cannot give up the fight.

A Legacy Of Love

I went into Frank's obituary page Saturday where friends and family can leave messages. There are 5 pages of messages and they made me cry. Most say how much he meant to these people and how much they will miss him. What better legacy is there for a person, but to be remembered by so many with love and respect. It's just too bad that his sons will never be able to appreciate who their father was and how much he meant to so many people. It's obvious his was not a wasted life. How can I not be proud to say I was Frank's sister?

There is a way to order a book which includes all the messages left, and I think I will do just that so our family will have a rememberance to keep. I will wait until just before the obituary expiration date so that as many are included as possible. I have asked family members to write messages as well as friends in Iowa who got to know him in June.

It's now time to move on with my life, return to work and get on with living. I can only hope when my time has come to be with Frank and my parents, I too will have touched people's lives in such a manner, and receive the same type of loving messages.

A family of love

As Joan wrote in her blog, she and I returned from Georgia yesterday. It was a very difficult time for both of us but not for the right reasons. Joan and I have had this week to mourn the loss of Frank. Unfortunately we have also seen the good and terrible of the people in Frank's life. In Lynn's blog, she hinted at her disappointment and surprises. Since my brother can no longer be hurt, I will attempt to set down into words some of those things.

Last Saturday when Frank passed on, I knew it was my responsibility to accompany Frank's 27 year old son to Georgia . Fortunately for me, Joan understanding my pain decided to accompany us. Our goal was to help him handle the funeral arrangements, clear out Frank's apartment and do whatever else was necessary. Unfortunately, 2nd Son, apparently, did not see his responsibilities as son and heir in the same light as Joan and I saw them.

We were met at the airport by Frank's girlfriend A, who was obviously devistated by his passing. She was the person Frank called and it was A who along with a few of Frank's co-workers who received the news of his death from the Doctor. To be honest, I was surprised by the committment she indicated to Joan and I that she and Frank shared. To be honest, in all my conversations with Frank, and we spoke at least once a week, I never got the impression that Frank felt the same way about A. 2nd son decided to stay at Frank's apartment, while Joan and I decided to stay at the local Marriott. "A" told us that she had made an appointment with the mortuary at 11:00 the next morning, so we told 2nd son that we would call him at 8:00 and make arrangements for him to pick us up in Frank's car. After we dropped him off, and it was just Joan and I in the car, "A" completely fell apart. It was like she was mourning a husband, she was that devestated. She told us of the plans she and Frank had been making, including the move to Iowa. Joan and I told her nothing, we only listened and tried to console her.

When Joan and I were alone in the hotel, Joan who along with Lynn also spoke frequently on the phone with Frank asked me if she had missed something about Frank and A. I told her that in my mind, he was obviously leading her on. When we were in Iowa in June, Frank never mentioned bringing A. Although they had been together 7 years, they never lived together and Frank always told me he would never marry again. Frank and I were always honest enough to express what was in our hearts and if there was a thought of marriage and lifetime committment on his mind, he surely would have told me, yet he never gave me any indication he felt anything more than friendship for A. Joan and I decided that we would allow A to keep her memories and beliefs because Frank was gone, and there didn't seem any point now in taking her obviously cherished feelings about him. We have to let her keep whatever she believes Frank's intentions were.

The next morning, I called 2nd son at 8:00 but there was no answer. I kept calling every 15 minutes until it was 10:15 and I had to accept the fact that he was not going to meet us. His mother said he called her around 4:00 AM Georgia time, telling her he was driving around and was lost. Knowing his history, I figured he went to the Casino. I called A who came over to the hotel to pick Joan and I up and we went over to the Mortuary where we were met by Frank's boss S, his wife D and A's brother. I again called 2nd son but still received no answer. Arrangements had to be made at the Mortuary, so I decided that I would be the one to make them. Frank had wanted to be cremated. We were told that only Frank's heirs could sign the papers. My oldest nephew is in Federal prison (I am not going to even try to explain) and of course 2nd son wasn't with us. The funeral director told us he could contact the prison for 1st son's signature but had to have 2nd son's too. I told him I would find him and bring him down but in the meantime, I would accept the financial responsibility to the Mortuary for the funeral arrangements which was fine with him.

Fank's boss S told me that Frank's co-workers wanted to have a memorial service and that his company would probably shut down so that his co-workers could attend. We made arrangements for the services to be at 4:00 on Wednesday. Joan and I decided that no matter what, we would be there. After making the arrangements we could, we got the chance to spend a few moments with Frank. "A" went in alone first, then Joan, the rest of us. I had the chance to spend some time alone with him. I was both heartsick and angry and took the opportunity to tell him exactly what I was thinking, some of which wasn't very nice. It was a moment Frank would have loved, to be honest, and he would have put his arm around me and reminded me that nothing since we were kids had changed. He was exactly the same incorigable adult, he was as a child, and he still had the ability to make one forget how angry they were with him.

After we left the Mortunary, we headed over to the apartment only to find 2nd son asleep. When I woke him up, he was beligerant with us and could not understand why we were angry with him for missing the appointment. When I demanded that he come with us back to the Mortuary to sign the papers he reluctantly agreed. Apparently he was angry that he could not immediately get into Frank's bank account to remove money. It finally dawned on Joan and I that this was the ONLY reason he had come to Georgia. He didn't care about his father at all, only the money and once he found out he would have to wait for his inheritance, he was furious. After he signed the paper for the creamation, he was asked if he wanted to spend time with Frank. The look on his face showed that he really didn't but he was forced into a position to say yes, since Joan and I were with him. To say he spent a minute with Frank would be an overstatement.

When we left the Mortuary, I told 2nd son that there would be services for Frank on Wednesday. His response was the he would not attend. Joan and I didn't argue with him. We were both still angry with his attitude. My anger was not based on how he was treating his father, but how he was dishonoring my bother by his actions. We asked what he intented to do about the apartment and he mumbled something about not caring. All he complained about was not being able to get the money immediately.

Joan and I decided to rent a car so that we wouldn't have to depend on 2nd son for transportation with Frank's car. The next morning, Tuesday, 2nd son's mother called me to say that he had called her to say he wanted to go home immediately and that she had made airline reservations for him to do so. I was furious and told her exactly what her son was and told her what had occured the day before at the Mortuary. I asked her what they intended to do about the apartment and the car and she informed me that Frank's co-workers. I immediately called Frank's boss and told him that they were to do NOTHING and requested that he call her and tell her exactly that. Within a very short time, she called me and said that 2nd son had left the key to the apartment under the mat and was leaving immediately. Nothing about the apartment or car had been resolved.

Wednesday, we had Frank's memorial service. I was overwhelmed by the attendance. I think there had to be at least 200 people, maybe more , including the President of Frank's company and customers who had known Frank the 12 years he was with the company. there was a video of pictures plus Frank's favorite songs. Joan and I had written Frank's eulogy which I delivered, then of Frank's friends also spoke, then I delivered the closing prayer which was from the Moose Ritual. We asked if anyone wanted to speak and some did. Some also asked questions about Frank which I answered. After the services, many came up to me with hugs and encouranging words of love and friendship for both Frank and I. Some commented that my hand actions were so similar to Frank's that watching me talk about his life and telling naughty stories about him, was like watching him deliver his own eulogy. Everyone told me that Frank always spoke about his love for his family and that we would be surprised to learn how much they knew about us. I was not surprised. Frank loved to tell stories. That was one of his best attributes. Fortunately, none of these people knew the other side of Frank, especially A and that's the way it must remain.

I spoke with the funeral director, and asked him if I was authorized to make arrangements with him for Frank's ashes and he said that I could do that. I spoke with Joan and we decided that if I had them shipped to my home in California (2nd son never gave them his address), I could bury Frank but there seemed no point. A and Frank's friends and co-workers really wanted him to remain with them in Georgia. These people were not only his friends but by their obvious love for him, I understood, they would visit and maintain his grave site so I signed the papers to give his ashes to A who was so grateful.

After the services, Joan, Frank's boss, his wife and I went over to Frank's apartment. It was exactly as Frank left it Saturday. All 2nd son had taken was Frank's wallet (including the credit cards) and his important papers. The keys to the car were on the counter. The 4 of us looked through apartment. I found Frank's good watch in a closet, which I gave to Frank's boss to keep and his wife took some momentos of Frank. including some of his cooking utensils. I collected his work achievement certificates plus an award Frank had received (since there was no monitary value, 2nd son left those). I also found Frank's photo album which I claimed and a couple of Frank's shirts which I will wear and treasure. His boss agreed to send whatever I wanted to my house. Everything else we left exactly as we found it. I gave his boss the keys to the car and asked him to have the assistant manager of the apartment complex whose husband worked with Frank, move the car which is part of Frank's estate, to a secure place in the complex so that it won't be towed away when the managememt clears out the apartment. He called her and she agreed immediately. I told him to tell her to donate everything in the apartment to charity. There was nothing else I could do since it was obvious that 2nd son doesn't intend to handle anything.

Yesterday after we flew back, Joan and Rick dropped me off at 2nd son's mother's house to pick up my car . I met with her and let her have both barrels about my brother's greedy (plus a few other choice words) son, then I walked out of her house with the intention of never having anything to do with them again.

Joan and Lynn are furious and worried that I will be stuck with the bills incurred on my credit card, including the Mortuary, air fair, hotel and Car rental. A's brother who is an Attorney in Georgia suggested that I contact him if I needed help recouping my mortuary and other expenses.

I am so grateful to Joan for coming with me. She was my rock through this experience. She also help me write Frank's eulogy. Alone, everything would have been too overwelming to bear but having her with me made it so much easier.

I loved my brother so much. We shared a lifetime together. What I have seen this week is not important. What is important is to remember how much he loved us, something he reminded us every time we spoke. I am sorry we won't share Iowa together but knowing it was where he planned on retiring, is something I will have always.

A loving tribute to my brother Frank.

The call we all dread came to me at 8:00 this morning, Saturday December 1, 2007. One of my brother's co-workers was on the phone telling me the most horrible thing one can hear. My beloved baby brother had a massive heart attack and passed away just a few minutes before. He was just 61 years old as of May 11th. He didn't suffer, he had mild ache and called a friend who took one look at him and immediately called 911. The paramedics realized immediately what was happening and gave him a dose of morphine to ease his discomfort. By the time they got to the hospital, it was too late. His heart had just given out. There was no previous warning. It was the first and only heart problem, and it just gave out too soon.

My brother lived life to the fullest. He loved good food and was a wonderful amature chef, specializing in Oriental cooking. Like me, he was severely overweight and diabetic, but unlike me, he absolutely refused to have the stomach bypass I had a year and a half ago. When we were together in Iowa in June, I discussed the surgery with him, encouraging him to considering having it, but when he saw the amount of food I could have, not to mention the type of food, he waved his hand at my plate and commented that he loved his good food too much to live with my diet. Just like my dad, Frank chose his favorite lifestyle which always included rich food. Also like my dad, Frank suffered the exact same fate. The only difference was 8 years. Dad was 70 when he passed on. I know Frank understood the consequences of his actions. I just think he figured he had the same amount of time and I will always be grateful he planned to spend that time with me.

Frank was an absolute joy to be around. He had a wonderful sense of humor and everyone loved to be around him, including my friend's grandkids. We were planning on retiring in Iowa together in the next couple of years. He was really looking forward to spending time with me and our friends. This will not be, but I take comfort in knowing he was as anxious as I was to just be together again.

Frank travelled a lot for his company. He returned Tuesday from his latest trip and, fortunately managed to call our Aunt ( Lynn and Joan's mom). He also spoke with both of them. He also called me, something he did before and after every trip. We chatted about the snow in Iowa and how we would both be housebound for 3 months a year once we moved there. It was a light and cheerful conversation. His last three words before we ended the conversations were "I love you".

Joan and I will be accompanying my newphew Brian to Georgia, where Frank lived, tomorrow morning. We will help Brian with the arrangements and try to ease his pain in losing his dad.

So goodby baby brother. Thanks for sharing my life. Thanks for taking the blame and the punishment for my childhood misdeeds and most important, thanks for loving me., and always making sure that I never could question your love for me right to the very end.