What's the price of equality

One of my favorite books has always been George Orwell's "Animal Farm". My favorite line from the book goes something like this "we are all created equal, but some of us are more equal than others".

I have spent my adult years refusing to be less than equal. This was one of my reasons for the stomach bypass surgery. Extremely obese people are treated less than equal when we are required to pay for two airline seats, when we don't fit in theatre seats, hospital equipment, most chairs, etc. The list goes on and on.

I have also refused to belong to any organization which believes it's female members are less equal than the men. Although the Moose fraternal organization was founded by men over 100 years ago, Moose International realized how much women contributed to it's cause, and over the past 25 years, they have changed the name from Moose lodges to Moose Family Centers to encourage the members to understand that EVERYONE is equal and must be treated with respect. Not every lodge has embraced this equality philosophy, and some women have been treated less than fairly over the years.

The Moose Family Center where I am a member was founded 20 years ago. From our inception in a very small 850 sqare foot building with 200 members, it was understood that ALL members are to be treated as equals, and whatever decisions are made for the good of the lodge, both the men and women would have a fair say. For all these years, we have been a shining example of how to keep a successful Family Center going by sharing responsibilities 100%. When I transferred into our Chapter 19 years ago, I immediately found myself anxious to be a part of this young vibrant lodge, and as I have said in past blogs, I achieved all the honors available to me within the first 7 years of my membership. What I have always loved most was the family love and respect our men and women share. I truly believed our officers, both men and women, shared not only the love of our lodge but the love for each other. We have since moved into much larger quarters (5 years) ago and our membership has increased to almost 1000 members. Still I believed that all our members, especially our officers, felt the way our founders did.

This week something VERY SMALL happened which could have festered into major proportions. Apparently food has been missing from the lodge refrigerator and freezer. Who is taking the food isn't the issue and the fact that the men have decided to lock the fridge and freezer isn't an issue either. What is a major issue, however, is that our lodge brother officers, without discussing anything with the women (who also use the kitchen)decided that only three men (the Governor of the lodge, the administrator and the Kitchen Chairman) should have keys. When the Chapter Senior Regent (equal to President) and Recorder (money person) asked the Governor if our Senior Regent would have a set of keys, they were told absolutely not, only the men would have keys. In this one short sentence, the women members were immediately dropped to second class citizens, whose Senior Regentcould not be trusted with a set of keys to the fridge and freezer. I must in all fairness add that these men are members who were not part of our original founding, but are members who have joined the past 5 years but saying this, I never thought any of our brothers, old or new would ever consider not sharing with the Chapter.

Within two (maybe even one) seconds, I was slapped in the face of reality by these men. I wondered if all the work by our women, which has always been appreciated by the men, has suddently become devalued by this group of men who so recently joined and obviously have no idea how much work and money this hard working Chapter actually contributes to the success of lodge. I found this not only unreasonable but extremely difficult to bear.

Our lodge brothers were set to have their general meeting so I approached one of our past Governors and expressed my view of the apparently new attitude of this men's board in a not so polite way. I also told him that if this new attitude was, in fact, real, I could not participate in any lodge where the officers believed the women should not be entitled refrigerator keys, but count of the exact same amount of work or more than the men do. I told him that if the Governor didn't give up his keys or make sure our Senior Regent was given a set of keys, I would walk out of this lodge after 19 years without a second backward glance.

Apparently I made my point. After the meeting, our Governor told our Senior Regent that neither he nor she would have keys. Only the lodge Administrator and Kitchen Chairmen would be responsible. Do I feel vindicated? Yes and no. I am relieved that logic prevailed and these men now understand the Chapter's importance? I am not sure. The fact that this happened at all is what upsets me most. How angry am I that these men are so inconsiderate to have even created the situation over two stupid little keys to appliances, and how am I supposed to respect this particular group of men in the future when it's now clear to me that they even considered the Moose to be a man's lodge and women inconsequential . The Chapter can only continue working and hopefully these men will understand what the founders of our lodge understood 20 years ago. Everyone must be treated with equal respect or failure is a guarantee.