One of my co-workers in a single dad whose 17 year old daughter is slowly driving him insane. Actually he has two children but apparently his 22 year old son was a breeze to raise, and I think he expected the same of his daughter, but alas as we moms know, he hasn't a prayer of an easy life. Actually until recently, she was no trouble, but the past year has been a living H_ll for him and he is in shock.
I have been trying to explain to him that teenage girls have something in their hormones which change them from loving little girls into the completely unrecognizable incredible hulk and that he is lucky it's taken her this long to convert. It doesn't make it any easier on him because now he is living in this time warp with sweetness one moment to a beastly unreasonable, hysterical stranger the next.
Maybe we women handle it differently because we all remember being this horrible person ourselves. My mom was pregnant when I was 15. Once I was an adult, I understood how miserable I was to live with for 7 months. I remember when she and my dad told my brother and I that she was pregnant, I went ballistic. I had no reason for that reaction but I guess my selfish genes took over and I was a beast to my mom until my sister was born. My selfishness wasn't much better after but I think I retreated into my bedroom right after school each day and stayed there for the next 3 years.
I feel so sorry for my co-worker. I tell him that she will outgrow this phase, probably by the time she is 20 but it's very difficult for him to address the daily changes in his beloved child, never quite knowing what to expect when he gets home from work. He is so frustrated it makes me sad. Maybe some of you former female teens might pass on some words of advice which he can cling to while he is waiting impatiently for his child to climb out of the teen years.
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8 comments:
I didn't have any girls but live close by to my nieces and have seen some of what you are talking about in action! Girls can be brutal when they are going through that stage but they do come out of it and turn into a human being again! I guess that's what my advice would be to your friend is to just hang in there and wait it out.
Thanks for stopping by so often, I always enjoy your comments. Yes Maine is an absolutely lovely place to live in the summer but the winters can be challenging to some. I love the cold so don't mind them a bit and of course my snowmobile is always waiting for a good buzz around the trails so that helps! :0)
Moosie: tell him he just has to wait until next June when she graduates.
I take it she is going into her senior year.
P.S. You have an award waiting to be claimed.
patti, yes she is going into her senior year and even though she is an excellent student, she is making him nuts by talking about not going to college. He is hoping she will change her mind.
I thank you for the award. I will look at it although I have no idea how to add anything to my blog.
Midlife, thanks for your responses. I do appreciate getting the feedback.
Moosie: if I can do it, you can.
You use your dashboard all the time, right?
He got to wait until she was 17 until he had to deal with her 'craziness'...what a lucky man!
Lynn: that's what I was thinking. I give the situation 6 months then it will turn around..
Raised three daughters and a bit of two step daughters! Good words to use are, "I love you anyway!" "Oh yes, I absolutely DO need to know where you are going and who with!"
Further advice? Don't try to talk about college, meaning HE shouldn't bring the subject up - just EXPECT that she will go.
One daughter used to come out of the bedroom, see a parent in the hall, and simply burst out crying! What fun! But it will get better and for her, soon.
I tend to use the phrase "don't roll your eyes at me, young lady" and have gotten good at ignoring my 15-year old's dramatic sighs which seem to emit on a more constant basis everyday!
The only advice I can offer your co-worker is love her anyway and hang in there for a little longer. He's lucky she waited until she was 17 to make the Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde conversion but I can feel his pain, I truly can!
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