Ok last time I gushed what a great feeling volunteering brings. Now for the other side. My cousin is the leader of her daughter's scout group. Her daugher is 12 so I am assuming the rest of the girls are in the same age group. Unfortunately this is my cousin's first effort and because of her daughter, she picked the toughest way to begin volunteering, and there is now a split in her daughter's group. One of the members displayed horrid behavour and was excused from the group. Apparently some of the girls disagree with this choice and are taking it out on my cousin's daughter and my cousin has asked for advice on her blog. There have been some wonderful suggestions and I have also made one.
My first volunteer effort was the same (must run in the family). At the ripe old age of 25, I chose to volunteer to be advisor to a group of girls aged 13 to 17. What a tough lesson. Girls this age have no logic whatsoever. Their hormones are raging in all directions, few of them logical. It's a very hard to reason with them and no matter what the advisor suggests at least half will agree to disagree and dissention runs through the group all the time. Some say day while others just say night to be ornary.
I have suggested that the entire group be presented with the situation and for my cousin to present the choices to the girls themselves to decide what to do about this girl. It's very easy for this age group to put blame on others. If all the girls are made to be responsibile for the troop then they must accept the consequences of their actions. It's a surprise to most adults when the girls do understand that it's up to them to police their own group and dole out the punishment and I hope my cousin's group doesn't let her down.
As for my cousin, it's a learning experience. I am volunteering with adults now, and sometimes unfortunately, it's not much different than working with teens but my time with the teens gave me the chance to hone my "reason with them" sense and it has come in handy more than a few times over the years.
I can only hope this experience doesn't sour the idea of volunteering for my cousin. It's so easy to just think "why bother" and walk away.This situation will pass and another will quickly takes it's place. Sometimes something wonderful happens and it reminds one why we volunteered in the first place. Don't give up cousin!!!!
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2 comments:
I have been volunteering as a Girl Scout leader since Twelve was Six. I work with middle and high school students every week. In all of my experiences, with both regular and special education students, I have never met a student like Flinger. (This girl made a conscious decision not to control her anger.) What I need to remember is that I am a volunteer. I choose to volunteer as a Girl Scout leader and in various other capacities, because I want to be able to give back to my community and help make it a better place. No where in the "volunteer manual" does it state that I am required to put up with unacceptable behavior. What keeps me going is three-fold. 1. I am doing this for Twelve. 2. I am doing this for the other girls. 3. I am doing this because it's challenging and fun...when it stops being fun, for either Twelve or myself, then I will stop.
when you do, you can join the Moose and watch how easily grown women become teenagers
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